Purpose Statement: This spoof letter uses the format of Ted L. Nancy to write a complaint letter and make a request of the Bon to change their seasoning so that the students can enjoy more variety.
The Bon Appetite Cafe Clara
George Fox University George Fox University
Newberg, OR February 20, 2022
Dear Bon Appetite Cafe,
I eat your food two times a day, every day of the week, as I am a student at the university in which your cafe is situated. In the middle. I am a very faithful customer of yours and appreciate the food you make. I am sure I would be dead by now if I didn't eat your food. But the food you make is spicy. It feels as if I am trying to become a flame swallower at a circus (I'm not). And after I finish the food, I cannot taste anything else because my tongue is burned. It is numb. Sometimes the food is not spicy, but then it usually doesn't have any taste at all.
I have a solution to the problem! I was thinking to myself (tonight) as I drank my milk to soothe my throat, that perhaps you do not know what other types of spices to get. Maybe you use pepper to season everything because you don't know what else to use. There are such spices as SAFFRON and FENNEL POLLEN that you can buy for $1000 and $450 a pound (respectively). They taste good. Here is a list of other such spices: https://luxurycolumnist.com/most-expensive-spices-in-the-world/.
I have always appreciated the food you make for us, and know that you always listen to every suggestion we have. I am sure that you will use better spices, now that you know what kinds are out there.
I look forward to eating dinner at the Bon again!
Sincerely,
Clara
Clara... you are hysterical! This letter is a true imposter for a letter written by Ted Nancy; I loved your attention to detail by capitalizing words like he would. I loved how the Bon was the topic for your letter because it is most definitely something I feel he too would find a way to complain about. Wonderful example of a letter, great job!
Hey Clara! I loved this post, and I thought you captured the tone and style of Ted Nancy's letters really well. As someone who also eats at the bon during the week, it made me laugh, and it was cleverly done. Great post! :)